Running out of control
Every thought worse than the previous one
Different names, different places, different people
Same thoughts, same outcome
I try to catch the thoughts
They run around in my brain
Like a child trapped, scared, in a maze
A scared, vulnerable child
Yet
It is I who run
From the thoughts, from the people, from the places
Alas
How do you outrun
What is inside of you?
How do you run from yourself?
How do I escape the maze?
For I am nothing but
A scared, vulnerable child.
On any given day, I have no less than a thousand different day dreams and conversations in my head about topics ranging from me being on the Cassini space probe entering Saturn’s rings and how fascinating that would be to me being stuck in an elevator with Lily Collins and how intimidating it would be. (Intimidating because, have you seen her?) And yes, she could get stuck in an elevator thousands of miles away from home on the other side of the world.
I’ve been having these imaginary conversations and beautiful, scary, wonderful day dreams for as long as I can remember but in all these years, none of them have ever come to life. So why does my brain pursue these magical stories day in and day out, in the elevator, or, while I’m driving, or, even while having a conversation with the dull co-worker sitting beside me? Ok, maybe I know the answer to that last one.
It fascinates me that in-spite of growing up and learning that almost all of these hypothetical conversations and situations are never actually going to take place, my mind hasn’t lost the ability to keep coming up with them and even making them more unrealistic on a daily basis. It’s something that I wish I never stop doing or lose the ability to do, because, no matter what’s going on in the real world – whether it’s relationship issues or job troubles or just the regular annoyances of daily life, those 5 minute escapes never fail to put a smile on my face.
